torstai 17. kesäkuuta 2010

Shopping for blood

Ghh. I can't believe it... I'm stupid. I went to Tampere to buy some fabrics. I bought three different kinds of linens. One of them was dark blue linen for the vest. I should hate myself. I had two fabrics to choose from. The other was one euros more expensive than the other. The more expensive one was this very blue linen with a slightest gesture of violet. I thought it was way too bright coloured. It was also quite a bit stronger than the other one. The other one was alot darker and I thougt that when I put it in the sun, it would become somewhat the right colour. When I finally got to home about an hour ago, I showed the fabrics to my mom. "But that's black, you must've seen it in the yellow lighting as blue." I of course denied it. And now I'm starting to think that my mom was right. ARgh! Stupidstupidstupidstupid! I don't have any more money.......... And I can't borrow any more from my mom. She's broke. My grandparents promised me to give some support but I don't know how much it'll be. And luckily my father'll support with the boots too. There's a tention weather the costume'll be done in time or not and if I'll have enough money or not.

When I was shopping the fabrics I imagined myself as how I'd look with my costume done. I was going to buy some food from the same place I'll probably buy it in Tracon. I looked down at my toes and imagined the boots on my feet. For a moment I ripped my spirit from my body and looked my future me. I went back to my body and I imgained my group around me and Elizabeth next to me. *grin* It made me feel good. Better. I hope everything'll be alright.

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